4 Assumptions About Me as a Pakistani Woman Solo Traveling

Things that I’m tired of hearing and simply don’t hold true for every individual.

1. ACT OF REBELLION

I’ve been traveling for 11 years. When I was 14, my parents sent me to France for an exchange program. Ever since then, I’ve been traveling. It can’t be an act of rebellion when this passion stemmed from something my parents gave me the greenlight to do. It may be something someone might do as an act of rebellion, but I’m not somebody else. While my culture comes with stereotypes and some truths, it doesn’t mean that everything is an act of rebellion. Also, I’m an adult. I don’t need to be rebelling against anyone when I’m near 30.

If this is something you’ve heard, don’t even let you down. It’s a shame that in our culture we still face this but we’re not doing anything wrong at all by going to travel alone. I mean, it’s no different than moving away for college to educate yourself or moving away for a job to further your career.

Booking.com: Use this link to book a hotel stay abroad.

2. DOING THINGS I CAN’T DO AT HOME

Like sleeping around?! Why do so many people think that whenever a desi girl has left the house she has been kicked outta the house or is going to go “break rules.” There’s nothing wrong with it, do you BUTt like… I travel to travel the world? It’s really as simple as that. Again, this comes from people who don’t have the courage to do what they want under their parents roof or felt that they couldn’t. Every assumption is basically someone elses reality and just a projection of it.

3. DADDY’S MONEY

I wish! I’d love it if I came from wealth and would use it to travel more and hopefully with my family. Privileged to have a strong passport and live the life that I have. I earned it… 7 years of education, & working multiple jobs.

People are quick to say things like this because it helps remove the guilt and insecurities they feel about their circumstance. If you ARE able to travel without coming from wealth that means that I can too but I’d have to do something about it. It makes them feel better about their life because if they believe you come from money, they can’t be mad at themselves because you can’t change who you are parents are.

Travel Hacking: I use Chase Sapphire and Capital One Venture X to buy my flights with points.

Don’t discredit my journey when we’re all trying to just survive and you only see the highlight reel. I’m trying to make it work for myself so if you’re not here to do the same, don’t stand in the way.

4. BEING LONELY

I legit had someone message me saying “Dr. Nabila, I feel sorry for you that you’re 39 years old and gave up marriage for your career which seems lonely.” Firstly, chilllll, I’m 29! Don’t age me like that lol.

Again, a projection. They could be married and unhappy, they could feel like they can’t travel now because they’re married, they feel bad that they got married early and missed out on opportunities like this.

Some people still aren’t comfortable hanging out with themselves. I hear it everyday from people I meet and friends.

“Aw, it’s so cute he’s eating by himself… I could never do that.”

“Man, I feel bad for that woman alone. I wonder why she’s eating alone.”

Spending time alone does not mean you’re lonely. I actually think it helped me grow tenfold in ways I never knew I could. Having the opportunity to comb through your thoughts without other people’s opinions and experiences chiming in. It allowed me to build confidence… yeah, I’m going to sit alone and I don’t care who sees. I’m going to record myself eating and my meal because it looks too pretty to eat. Doing things solo gave me more confidence to travel the world.

Not only that but because I choose to travel alone doesn’t mean that I’ll never get married. There isn’t just one version of me, there’s a version that gets married and has a family.

Have you heard any of these throughout your solo journey? If you have, know that you’re not alone and don’t let these assumptions get you down. These types of comments reveal more about the person who says it than who they’re saying it about.